Starting a blog – or any new venture – can be scary. Some anxiety is normal. If you’re determined, you push beyond your fear and do it anyway. As one mentor so eloquently put it: “Frack Fear!”
Well, there is fear. . .
. . .and then there are things with numbers.
You know, the ones that begin with “300” and come out of a book called the DSM-IV – The Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders. I’ve got at least half a dozen of them, including social anxiety and PTSD. When I get fearful, I don’t just get a few butterflies in my stomach. I get a full-blown panic attack!
So what the HELL am I doing starting a blog?
I asked myself this question frequently through the many years it has taken me to finally summon up the courage – or the insanity – to launch my blog. I thought I was delusional for thinking I should even consider it. (Better make an appointment with my therapist.)
But my creative urges wouldn’t quit. The ideas just kept coming. I was constantly writing and drawing. Yet year after year, everything stayed safely tucked away on my computer. From time to time I’d hear them crying, “Let us out!” But I was afraid I wouldn’t be able to handle it if I did.
I kept thinking that I should just be “realistic”. Find a low-stress menial job, spend evenings watching TV and eating microwave dinners. Lots of people live that way. What’s wrong with that? There’s no rule that says you have to “strive to be a better person.” Accept what you’ve been given and just chill.
That’s really tempting. But when I played out the scenario further, another vision came to me: the thought of spending the rest of my life surrounded by cats watching Dancing with The Stars. That would put me right over the edge. So I figure, if I’m going to end in a mental hospital, I may as well get there doing something a little more interesting!
Image Credit: Copyright 2009 by Tambako The Jaguar and licensed for reuse under this Creative Commons License via Flickr. https://flic.kr/p/7q1n2W
